


Do You Want to Know Why?

by queenmillicentofbystander



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora Gives a Hug, Canon Compliant, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Don't Go is canon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Melog Gives them Too!, One Shot, Post-Canon, Post-Finale, Post-Season/Series 05, Short One Shot, short and relatively sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25047910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenmillicentofbystander/pseuds/queenmillicentofbystander
Summary: Adora wakes up to find Catra's side of the bed empty. Rather than sleep, Catra's decided her time is better spent staring at runestones and ruminating on the last three years. When Adora finds her on the balcony Catra throws her the question - do you want to know why I was what I was? Why I am what I am?
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 117





	Do You Want to Know Why?

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fanfic in a really long time and I feel really rusty. But hopefully there's a little something worthwhile here!

Adora was cold, and that’s what woke her up. 

She rubbed her eyes, then started patting the bed next to her, looking for the girl who had fallen asleep in her arms. But there was no one there. She sighed, propping herself onto her shoulders and looking around the room. 

Catra was nowhere to be found.

Adora stood up, pulling a blanket off the bed and wrapping it around her shoulders. She looked out the large open door and onto the balcony. When she’d first moved to Bright Moon she’d been overwhelmed by the grandeur. (A waterfall that wasn’t for anything but being a waterfall? Seriously?) And there were still some nights when she caught sight of the moons through the large open windows and she couldn’t help but remember how very small she’d felt then.   
Nights she couldn’t help but feel small again.

Adora stepped out onto the balcony, shivering a little in the light breeze. It was never really cold in Bright Moon, but the Fright Zone had never been anything but muggy, and it wasn’t quite as warm as her bed.

Or as warm as her bed had been a few hours ago. 

Catra was easy to spot, perched on the banister just off to the right. She was staring up at the Moonstone, rather than one of the many actual moons that orbited their planet, eyebrows knit together. 

“Hey Adora.”

Adora crossed the balcony to stand beside her, resting her arms on the banister. She rubbed her eyes again and pulled her blanket tighter. “Catra, what are you doing?”

“What’s it look like, dummy?”

Adora sighed, dropping her head. “Like you’ve lost your mind.”

“Sometimes,” Catra’s voice fell into a whisper, “I think maybe I have.”

Adora looked up into Catra’s face, heart beating a little harder. “Catra…?”

Finally, Catra’s gaze dropped, meeting Adora’s. Her face was pinched. “Can I tell you something… bad?”

Adora didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

Catra looked back at the glowing runestone. “When Horde Prime… when I was on his ship, alone, he used to…” she bit her lip, her canines digging in and Adora feared for just a second she might draw blood, “I’d have these visions that you’d come rescue me.”

Adora nodded, unsurprised. She remembered Catra’s panic, her crying, the day she’d rescued her. How she’d pleaded with her, begging to be set free of an illusion.

“Yeah, I guessed that.”

Catra bobbed her head, and her voice got hard. “I never believed the illusion for long though.”

Adora tensed. “Why?”

Catra’s mouth turned up in a sardonic grin “Because you weren’t gonna come for me. You’d come for Glimmer, but you weren’t gonna come for me.”

Adora squared her shoulders. She didn’t like the look in Catra’s eyes. “Why would you think that?”

“Come on Adora!” Catra’s voice bordered on laughter. “You’d never come back for me before!”

Adora felt like she’d been slapped. “What are you talking about?”

Catra sighed, the mischief in her eyes dying. She dropped her head. “Nothing. It doesn’t… it doesn’t matter.”

Adora stared hard at the other girl’s face, trying to piece together her words. Finally she opened her mouth, hesitant. “Would you have come with me?”

Catra sighed. “Guess we’ll never know.”

Adora stared down at the far away ground, the lush green grass and trees, and wondered for just a brief second if things could’ve been different. “I’m sorry Catra.”

Catra scoffed. “Don’t apologize. Honestly the last thing I needed was you playing the hero. Again.”

Adora smiled a little. “You save me too you know? All the time.” 

Catra scoffed again, “Okay, sure.”

“I’m serious.”

“From what?”

“Myself.”

Catra turned her head, meeting the blonde’s lovestruck gaze.

“You saved me at the heart,” she went on. “You saved all of Etheria.”

Catra dropped her gaze. “Doesn’t exactly make up for everything else I did. Doesn’t bring the Queen back…”

Adora’s breath caught in her throat. 

No, she wanted to say, no that’s my fault. I’m the reason Angella’s gone. Not you. But that wasn’t true, was it?

Her silent musings were interrupted my Catra’s hoarse whisper. “Do you wanna know why I pulled that switch? Do you wanna know why I opened that stupid portal?”

Now Adora could’ve sworn that her heart had stopped. 

Catra’s eyes filled with tears, threatening to spill over into the soft fur that covered her entire body. She gripped the banister tight, with both hands, and her body started to shake. She’d been pretending it hadn’t happened, pushing it out of her mind for weeks now, and it had been easy. They’d been at war, they’d been busy. But it was finally quiet, and in that quiet her heart had reminded her that she didn’t deserve it. 

“Catra…” Adora reached for Catra’s hand, covering it with her own. “It’s… it’s okay. You were hurting. You…” Adora was searching for the words, the words that would make it all okay. She wanted to justify it, to absolve Catra of this particular sin. But she’d knowingly risked the world, and for what? So she could win?

It was hard to write that off. 

But she wanted to. Oh, she wanted to.

Catra dropped from the banister, pulling her hand out from under Adora’s and crossing her arms over her chest. She stepped back, turning away. “It was Shadow Weaver,” she whispered, “I… it was Shadow Weaver.”

Adora straightened, tentative surprise unlocking her fingers. “Shadow Weaver?”

Catra continued to move away, walking towards to the corner of the balcony. She turned, pressing her back to the wall and sitting down, pulling her knees to her chest. Then, as though they’d been patiently waiting, Melog appeared and wrapped themselves around her, resting their head at her side.

“I saw her, with your little group of rescuers…” None of the venom that Catra would’ve normally thrown into the statement was there. “And I…” she dropped her head, “it wasn’t fair.”

Adora pushed off the banister. “What wasn’t fair?”

“She got to be the good guy!” Catra’s voice broke and the tears that had been threatening spilled over. “She got you!”

Adora stepped back, startled, and Catra continued to cry. Her shoulders shook with the effort and Melog tried to comfort her, nuzzling her leg. 

That snapped Adora out of it.

She nearly ran to Catra, wrapping her arms around her and pressing her head to her shoulder. “Shhh…” she whispered, “it’s okay. That’s not true. You know that’s not true.”

Catra choked on a laugh. “Do I?”

Adora lifted her head, an unshed tear or two in her own eyes now. “You have to.”

Catra tried to smile, and it was soft. She took a deep breath, reminding herself of the things she did know. Adora loves me. I’m better now. I’m getting better every day.

“I didn’t though. But I knew Shadow Weaver was in Bright Moon, and she was holding Sparkles’ hand, rescuing you. From me.” Catra scoffed. “How twisted was that?”

Adora pulled Catra tighter. “That was a long time ago.”

“It was a year ago.”

Adora lifted her hand, brushing Catra’s hair back out of her face. “Catra, listen to me, please?”

Catra turned her head, meeting Adora’s steely blue gaze. 

“Shadow Weaver wasn’t good. Not the way you are. Not the way you want to be.”

Catra sighed and dropped her head, pressing her forehead against Adora’s. “But she got you.”

Adora shook her head. “No, no she didn’t.”

“Yes, she did.” Catra said it with so much certainty, so matter of fact. Adora’s heart was crumpling in her chest. 

“Catra—” Adora was crying, shaking her head. 

“You were always choosing someone else – Shadow Weaver, Glimmer, Bow, the right thing…” Catra didn’t sound bitter, just sad. She lifted her head. “I kept asking you what you wanted, why you came back for me, hoping you’d say you wanted me… hoping you’d say you needed me like I needed you. Like I’ve always needed you Adora.”

Adora’s tears kept her from speaking.

“That’s what sucked most. I was miserable, and you were fine.”

“I was not fine.” Adora spat through her tears.

Melog pulled around, head-butting Adora’s legs, aware that she needed to be comforted now too. Catra didn’t speak.

“I was waiting,” Adora pulled the other girl tight again, “every day, for you to join the rebellion. I was waiting for you. I had to tell myself you’d join us eventually in order to keep going.”

Catra’s voice was quiet. “Even after the portal?”

“Especially after the portal.”

Catra dropped her head to the side, resting it on top of Adora’s. They were quiet for several seconds, before Catra finally spoke, voice shaky. “Do you wanna know why I saved Glimmer?”

Adora bit her lip, trying to slow the tears that were running down her face. “Glimmer said you… did it for me.”

Catra smiled, putting her hand over Adora’s. “Remember when we were little, and I punched Lonnie because I thought you liked her better than me?”

Adora laughed, the memory coming back clear and gentle to her mind. “Yeah… you scratched me when I came looking for you.”

“But you came back. And you told me you were always going to be my friend.”

Adora’s tears had not stopped.

“I was thinking about that, remembering. That’s why I decided to help Sparkles.” Catra lifted her head, meeting Adora’s eyes. “I couldn’t let Prime get you. You weren’t my friend anymore, but… you’d tried to be. And I still wished you were.”

Adora’s eyes were pleading, begging Catra to hear her, to believe her. “I never stopped being your friend Catra.”

The tears reappeared in Catra’s eyes. “Why?”

Adora smiled, pressing a hand to Catra’s cheek. “Because I never stopped loving you.”

Catra sighed, but a smile played at her lips. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Yeah,” she sighed, stroking her thumb over the other girl’s cheekbone, “I know.”

“I love you too,” Catra breathed, leaning in and placing a quick and tender kiss on Adora’s mouth, and Adora’s chest fluttered. 

When they broke apart Catra leaned over to scratch her giant magical cat between the ears. “I do hope Shadow Weaver was right about one thing.”

Adora scoffed. “Ugh, what?”

Catra smirked. “She said, right before she… she said that this was only the beginning for me. Yeah, I’ve got a ways to go, but at least I have somewhere to go.”

“And we’re going together,” Adora said, picking up Catra’s hand and squeezing it.

Catra laced their fingers together. “Yeah, together.”

Adora loves me, she thought. I’m better now. I’m getting better every day.

And I’m not alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I really appreciate it. Sorry if it feels like you were just thrown in and pulled out without ceremony, I had a hard time giving it more setting than I did. If that makes sense... Anyway. Please leave kudos if you enjoyed it!


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